Dead Space

I still remember.  High School, tekken 2 just came out, my mom bursting into the room with a knife.  I can still smell the stench of raw chicken and see chunks flipping off the knife onto her face as she waves it around begging me to quiet down.  I'm sorry Mom, if only you understood how frustrating it was for me to beat the game on hard with Paul.  He is strong but slow.  And the only slow guy worth any beans to me is King.  But I was a perfectionist gamer then and I still have the same blood flowing through me today, though my age has made it a lot thicker.  Oh, and also games like Dead Space.

Dead space is a survival horror game (like I even need to say that) that takes place on a space station sometime in the future.  Oh, and Dead Space made me shit myself 4 times.  first time out of fear, second time out of anger, third time out of anger, and fourth time out of anger.  I will spend the majority of this article on the anger that Dead Space awoke within me.

I don't want to even presume I have garnered a following with my little articles, but I will speak as if I have.  If you remember in my article about Fallout 3. I mentioned a little about my personal relationship with Dead Space.  It is time for me to expound upon that.  Dead Space awoke an anger within me that hadn't shown its cute little face since my days of Tekken.  but It awoke it ten fold.  after my Dead Space sessions, I would walk away without a voice from screaming too much, a headache from screaming too hard, and a general hatred towards all living things.  If trying to time King's throws so that they couldn't be countered made me scream from frustration, timing doors to open so that I was not stuck waiting as a space zombie chased me down made me rip the head off of my favorite teddy and make a Baloo stew!!!!     If trying to perform an efficient juggling combo with Yoshimitsu caused me to take the Lord's name in vain, trying to perform an efficient limb removal with my plasma cutter without any stasis because I couldn't find a refill station made me curse the name of every religious being that ever graced this Earth.  And last, If trying to maneuver Gun Jacks awkwardly huge body made me throw the controller down in rage, then trying to maneuver Isaac around corners only to get stuck there because the camera swings from side to side to so quick and awkwardly made me give birth to a new demonic me that left the womb screaming "JUST LIFT YOUR DAMN FOOT OVER THE  PISSASS CORNER ISAAC!!!!!"

Dead space made me more angry then a presentless Christmas morning.  I got so emotional that I had to take a two week break from it.  The thought of playing it would send my body into chills.  mix these emotions with the perfectly executed scenes of horror throughout the game and Bioware had created their own version of Frankensteins monster with my emotions as their guinea pig.  I can't recommend this game, the emotional travesty my spirit went through was too much, I could never wish that upon anyone else.......except Hitler.